Doubt doesn’t always come from lack of ability. Often, it comes from years of being praised for following rules, avoiding mistakes, or deferring to someone else’s version of what’s right. Over time, that praise forms a pattern. One that rewards self-abandonment and makes self-trust feel risky or even wrong. But that doesn’t mean trust is lost. It means there’s an invitation to rebuild it, gently, and on your own terms.
Self-trust isn’t a fixed quality. It’s a relationship. One that can be slowly repaired through everyday choices, compassionate awareness, and the willingness to tune back in.
EPISODE 181: Listen using the player below, or click the links to your fave platform to subscribe and listen over there:
Doubt is a trained reflex, not a personal failure
Second-guessing often becomes a habit after years of outsourcing decisions. You might not even realise it’s happening until you’re standing in front of a simple choice, what to eat, who to see, how to spend your time, and feel a sudden fog roll in. That fog isn’t confusion. It’s the echo of training that taught you to distrust your own knowing.
No one arrives at doubt on their own. It’s a learned response to being told, directly or indirectly, that your way was too much, too messy, or not enough. The work now is to notice when that voice surfaces and gently pause before following it.
That pause is where trust begins again.
Small choices build stronger trust than big declarations
It’s tempting to think self-trust will return after one big leap, quitting the job, ending the relationship, launching the business. But lasting self-trust grows through the small, consistent decisions that say, “I hear you, and I’ve got you.”
That might look like:
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Eating what actually feels good, not what you were told you should eat
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Saying no to plans that drain you, even if they seem harmless
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Choosing rest without guilt
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Listening to your first impulse before explaining it away
Each time you act from your own internal compass, you send a message that your voice matters. Over time, that message rewires the pattern that once told you to look outside yourself for permission.
Intuition grows through use—not perfection
You don’t need to get it right every time to strengthen self-trust. You just need to keep showing up. Even if you doubt. Even if you hesitate. Even if you ignore your intuition and realise later that it was right.
It’s okay to say, I hear you now. I’m sorry I didn’t listen before. That apology doesn’t diminish your intuition, it deepens your relationship with it. Like any muscle, self-trust strengthens through repetition, not flawless execution. This includes allowing space for uncertainty. You can move slowly. You can check in more than once. You can even make mistakes. None of it breaks the relationship. What matters is your willingness to return to yourself, again and again.
Let hesitation be part of the practice
Hesitation doesn’t mean failure. It means your system is recalibrating. When you’ve spent years relying on external sources for answers, it’s natural to feel unsure when turning inward. That’s not a block, it’s a transition.
Over time, you’ll hesitate less. Your intuition will speak more clearly. Your yes and no will land faster, with less explanation or doubt. But it won’t come from pushing through hesitation. It will come from respecting it as part of your rhythm. Let hesitation soften rather than harden. Let it be an invitation to pause, not to panic.
Final reflections
Self-trust isn’t something you earn. It’s something you remember. A voice that’s always been there, waiting for space to speak. Rebuilding that trust doesn’t require perfection. It asks for consistency, compassion, and care. You’re allowed to move gently. You’re allowed to get it wrong. You’re allowed to listen to yourself and still consult others without abandoning your own knowing.
And most of all, you’re allowed to believe that your voice is valid. That your body holds wisdom. That your answers are often already with you, waiting to be chosen.
Here for the links that may have been referenced in the show or is complementary to this episode.
- Podcast – Overcoming Overthinking
- Podcast – Stop Outsourcing Your Power
- Podcast – Trusting Yourself As A Businesswoman
More in-depth content and resources:
