Episode 176

What To Do When Your Old Life Doesn’t Fit Anymore

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Sometimes life begins to feel tight. Not because anything is wrong, but because something inside has outgrown where you’ve been. It doesn’t always come with a clear decision or a plan. It often arrives as restlessness, quiet discontent, or the slow awareness that what once worked no longer feels aligned. That doesn’t mean your life is broken. It means something deeper is asking to be heard.

This isn’t about walking away from everything. It’s about recognising when your values or energy have shifted. And allowing that shift to be valid, even if nothing has changed on the outside just yet.

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Growth often shows up quietly

Not every transformation is loud or dramatic. Sometimes growth comes in the form of a quiet knowing: this version of life doesn’t quite fit anymore. That can feel disorienting. Especially if parts of your life still feel “fine.” You might even like where you are, but something deeper is calling for change.

It doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful. It doesn’t mean you’re confused. It means you’re waking up to what matters now. That might be a change in direction, or it might simply be a deeper way of relating to what’s already here.

What used to energise you may now feel heavy. What once felt like a goal may now feel like pressure. These shifts don’t need to be labelled or rushed. They just need space to be felt.

You’re allowed to grow beyond who you were

Letting go of an old version of yourself doesn’t mean that version was wrong. It just means you’re becoming more of who you are. Sometimes that requires leaving behind work, habits, roles, or even friendships that no longer reflect who you’re becoming.

That process can bring grief. Even when change feels right, there can be sadness in letting go. Especially when what you’re releasing held a strong part of your identity.

There’s no need to rush to a solution. Give yourself room to feel what’s ending. Honour the part of you that once needed what no longer fits. And know that clarity often arrives after the space has been made, not before.

Change doesn’t have to be fast or dramatic

You don’t need to flip your life upside down to grow. You don’t need to burn it all down or start from scratch. Some of the most powerful changes begin with small, gentle shifts:

  • Saying no to something that used to feel like an automatic yes

  • Taking time for reflection instead of filling every gap with action

  • Trying something new, not to escape, but to explore

  • Giving yourself space to simply not know for a while

The in-between is part of the process. Rest, pause, and stillness aren’t gaps in growth—they’re a necessary part of it. You’re allowed to be in transition without having a clear destination.

Make space before you fill it in

When your life starts to feel too tight, the first step is often to create space, not to immediately fill it. That space might look like clearing your calendar, creating time for walks or reflection, or simply sitting with the discomfort instead of rushing to fix it.

Let the space do its work. Let it show you what’s shifting, what’s no longer resonant, and what’s quietly rising underneath. You don’t have to figure it out all at once. Your next chapter forms not through pressure, but through permission, to feel, to listen, to trust.

And you don’t need to explain your shifts to everyone. Not everyone will understand. You don’t owe clarity to anyone except yourself. Share only where it feels safe and supportive.

Final reflections

Outgrowing an old life isn’t a crisis. It’s a sign of aliveness. A signal that something true is unfolding beneath the surface, even if you can’t see what it is yet.

You don’t have to make it neat. You don’t need the full plan. You’re allowed to be in the in-between. To pause, to reflect, to feel the grief and the freedom. You’re allowed to not know.

Let yourself rest in the truth that change can be slow, quiet, and deeply meaningful. That endings are allowed. That space is sacred. That who you’re becoming doesn’t need to rush.

Here for the links that may have been referenced in the show or is complementary to this episode.

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