Episode 93

You Are Not Your Business

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This is something I’ve experienced deeply. Not just once, but through a whole chapter of my life that required me to relearn who I was. It’s why I feel so passionate about this topic. Because I know what it’s like to confuse what you do with who you are, and how painful it is when that structure falls away.

We can have a relationship with our business. We can love it, nurture it, and let it hold a vision that brings purpose to our lives. But it’s not us. You’re not your chair. You’re not your pen. You’re not your relationships. So why do we believe we are our business?

EPISODE 93: Listen using the player below, or click the links to your fave platform to subscribe and listen over there:

When Identity Gets Tied to Work

I used to introduce myself with my job title first. Not just professionally, but personally. I’m your nurse today. I’m a paramedic. I’m a clinical educator. That was my identity. It shaped how I showed up in the world. And when I left the medical field, everything unravelled.

I went into an identity crisis. I had symptoms of depression, C-PTSD, and anxiety. I isolated myself. I didn’t know who I was without the job title. I had to grieve the version of me that no longer existed. And that grief was real. It was intense. But it was also what led me to healing.

When you believe your business is your identity, the same thing can happen. If it disappears, whether through burnout, change, or something completely outside your control, you’re left asking: Who am I without this?

That’s not just hard. That’s soul-fracturing. And I don’t want that for you.

What Happens When You Become Your Business

There are signs, subtle and not-so-subtle, that you’ve tied your identity too closely to your business. None of them make you wrong. But noticing them gives you the chance to create space again.

You might notice:

  • You have no true me time. The things you do for “yourself” are still business-related, like networking events, courses, or retreats.
  • You shape-shift in different settings. You show up one way with clients, another way online, and another way with friends. It’s not just privacy, it’s performance.
  • You constantly seek approval. You need someone else to validate your business name, your offerings, your ideas. You don’t trust your own yes.
  • Your thoughts are filled with negativity. You worry you’re not enough, not doing it right, not successful enough. Every small decision feels like it carries too much weight.

These signs aren’t something to judge, they’re something to notice. Because the moment you do, you begin to reclaim your sense of self.

Reclaiming Yourself Outside the Business

When I finally started to separate myself from my business, I began to breathe again. I realised I didn’t need to be perfect. I didn’t need to wear every hat, respond to every opinion, or carry the pressure of “getting it right.”

My business became an energy I could be in a relationship with. I could tune into it, speak with it, listen to it, but it didn’t own me. And that changed everything.

I stopped seeking approval. I started filtering advice through my intuition. Even if I was paying someone, I’d ask: Does this sit with me? Does this align with my business’s energy? And if the answer was no, I’d leave it. No guilt. No fear. Just clarity.

You Can Still Love It Deeply

Loving your business doesn’t mean becoming it. You can nurture it. Build it. Talk to it. Let it light you up. You can say, I love this work so much. I say that often.

But your worth doesn’t depend on its performance. Your identity isn’t tied to its success or visibility. You’re still whole, even on the days you don’t show up.

The truth is, when you untangle your identity from your business, it flourishes. You stop gripping. You create with more freedom. You take rests without guilt. And you show up more as you, not some filtered version, not a brand persona. Just you.

Final Reflections

You’re allowed to have a full life outside your business. You’re allowed to be known and loved for who you are, not what you do. And when you remember that, everything softens.

Your business is sacred. But it’s not your identity. And you are so much more than the work you bring into the world.

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